Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
by tragic kohaku-chan
Summary: Kagome is getting desperate. As a last ditch effort to gain Inuyasha's attention, she does the unthinkable and asks our friendly neighborhood houshi-sama for some advice. One thing is for certain, she's going to get more trouble than she bargained for.
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer:** Okay, I'm only gonna say this once. I don't own Inuyasha or its characters.

Prologue

She knew it was a desperate act. Pathetic even. But this was a desperate situation, and desperate times called for desperate measures.

She had been traveling with Inuyasha for nearly a year now, and her feelings for him seemed to grow by the day. At first she couldn't even stand to be around him, then she could just tolerate his presence. Soon he became one of her closest friends, but the friendship had blossomed into something more, for her at least. She had tried ignoring the way her stomach fluttered when his amber eyes locked onto hers, tried to shrug off the way her thoughts always found their way to him when she should be concentrating on something else, tried to stop her heart from clenching every time he went to Kikyo. But there was no denying it, she, Kagome Higurashi, had fallen head over heals for the half-demon known as Inuyasha.

Once she had realized this, she had tried everything to get his attention. From compliments to expensive perfume, from cooking him meals to buying him gifts. But he either acknowledged her attempts with a grunt or an "EW! What is that smell?!" Yes, she had tried everything. Well, almost everything, and that was why she was now brought to this. This pathetic, desperate attempt to win Inuyasha's heart.

She took a deep breath, and spoke.

"Um, Miroku-sama, may I speak to you for a minute?"

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	2. A business proposal

**Disclaimer: **don't own it

Chapter 1

All heads at the campfire whipped in Kagome's direction, that is, until Inuyasha began choking on his ramen. Sango leaned over and began pounding his back as Kagome stared wide eyed at the conflicted hanyou. Miroku and Shippo watched on as Inuyasha waved Sango away and then turned towards Kagome.

"What?!" he exclaimed.

Kagome raised an eyebrow and spoke slowly and carefully, hoping to avoid causing another choking fit for Inuyasha. "I was just wondering if I could speak to Miroku-sama."

Now it was Miroku who raised an eyebrow as he poked himself in the chest. "Me?"

"Him?"

"Yes."

Inuyasha shrugged, "well, go ahead."

Kagome looked away guiltily, "I was w-wondering if I could speak to him…alone?" The last part came out as a squeak as she raised her gaze to meet Miroku's.

Miroku looked shocked at first, but his open mouth soon closed to form a smug grin as his eyebrows wiggled suggestively. "Ah, I see Kagome-sama, so you've finally decided to bear me a-"

Kagome waved her hands frantically in front of her, "N-no! Nothing like that! I only wanted to speak to you in private."

Again Miroku looked confused, but he simply shrugged and stood up, dusting off his robes. He approached Kagome and extended his hand to her. She took it and they both turned awkwardly towards the group.

Kagome scratched the back of her head, "Well, we'll be right back." She offered sheepishly before turning around, Miroku trailing behind.

The duo left a very interesting trio in their wake. Inuyasha growled menacingly, Sango stared after them with a look between suspicion and concern, and Shippo merely went back to licking the lollipop he had been enjoying before the whole thing had started.

"What do you suppose they're up to?" Sango wondered aloud.

"I don't know, but that stupid monk better not try anything!"

His outburst gained him knowing smiles from his two companions, to which he just "Feh'd" and turned away.

When she figured they had traveled a safe distance from camp, Kagome turned to the bemused monk beside her. She wrung her hands in apprehension and bit her bottom lip as she tried to think of how to start.

Miroku, seeing Kagome's distressed state, attempted to break the tension. "Kagome-sama," he began as he took her hands, "now that it's just you and me, you can be honest with me about your intentions."

"Ah, no! Miroku-sama!" she exclaimed as she hastily removed her hands. "It's not like that!"

Miroku feigned hurt. "Why Kagome-sama! I cannot believe that you would insinuate that I was talking about anything inappropriate!" He then sighed his misery and shook his head.

Kagome rolled her eyes at his melodramatics. "Look Miroku-sama, I just wanted to ask your advice on something, and I don't really know how to put this, so I guess I'll just come out and say it."

Miroku now looked interested, and he urged her to continue.

"Well, the thing is, you know how I-well I guess you might not know-but you probably do since I guess it's pretty obvious-then again _he_ doesn't know-well I guess he might and just doesn't care-"

"Woah, woah, Kagome-sama! Slow down! Who's _he'?"_

Kagome blinked, and then shut her eyes in resignation. "Miroku-sama," she sighed, "I was just wondering if you could give me some advice on how to gain Inuyasha's affection." When she was the surprised look on his face, she began sputtering again," I mean, seeing as you're a guy and all I figured I might as well ask-not that you're the only guy besides him I know it's just that besides him you're my best guy friend and you know him too and-"

"Kagome-sama, you mean to tell me that you dragged me all the way out here to ask me that? Me? Whom you and Sango have so rudely dubbed the lecherous monk' among many other misfitting nicknames?"

She looked at him meekly before she managed to squeak out, "Yes?"

He shut his eyes in concentration and nodded twice. When he opened them again, he smirked and put his arm around his anxious companion. "Well, Kagome-sama, you've come to the right person."


End file.
